Survivors Movie - Infection is coming

'Infection is coming' - that's a bit worrying, right?

I don't know about you, but I myself am getting a little impatient for the Zombie apocalypse to start. It's not that I want to see the near total decimation of the human race happen - though there are a good few number of people on my personal dislike list who I sincerely hope get their comeuppance by getting their face eaten off by a zombie..... very slowly and very painfully. 

No, it's simply that once the inevitable apocalypse does happen, I'm pretty sure that not only will I survive it but I'll also no doubt be taking a leading role in gathering the remnants of humanity together. Yes, indeed, I'm not too sure if I'll be the charismatic and forceful leader who pulls a ragtag collection of individuals together with his ingenuity and forceful character, or whether I might be the distant yet charismatic loner that helps bind the group together with his sense of purpose and charm.

The one thing is certain in my fevered little mind, I'll be heroic. It's inevitable.

So while we wait with anticipation about the real event, we'll just have to make do with the ongoing conveyor belt of apocalypse related fiction that thankfully shows little sign of ending. This week I was asked by an old friend of 5D. The Fifth Dimension (don't ask him though, for some reason he, like many others, will deny knowing me at all...very strange) if I would like to cast my eye over his latest film venture, Survivors. After checking my social calendar and seeing that it was distinctly empty for some unfathomable reason, I replied that I did indeed have some time on my hands and would be happy to see more of his work.

Adam J Spinks has featured in a number of previous articles here on 5D, notably with in regard to one of his previous films, the rather good The Expedition which featured all sorts of funky Dinosaur stuff. You can see the review type musings from yous truly about that particular film RIGHT HERE. If that wasn't enough, Adam has also had the great fortune, some may say distinct mis-fortune, to take part on one of 5D's legendary piercing and incisive interviews that make Frost/Nixon look like a nice little chat over croissants during breakfast. If you want to see how Adam buckled under the pressure of my skilful interrogation back in 2014 then check out the blog article RIGHT HERE.

Adam it seems clearly hadn't had enough and so invited me to have a look at a secret online screener link (it makes me sound important, so just humour me) and give my opinion about his new film, Survivors which is due for DVD release here in the UK on the 26th October. So last night, sat armed with a bowl of Nachos and a glass or two of wine (alright, three glasses) I sat myself in front of my TV, hooked it up to the Internet (god bless technology) and watched some more lovely apocalypse.

Ryanair's economy class flight ready for take off....

"Kate Meadows (Joanne Gale) and her cameraman Duke (Simon Burbage) embark on a mission to uncover whether or not a government weapons contractor has secretly been using humans as their test subjects.  

As they dig deeper, they realise the brutal reality...

The test subjects have escaped and are carrying a deadly new contagion meant for use in biological war. They soon find themselves in a race for their own survival as the military lose the fight against the infected and those responsible for the outbreak stop at nothing to prevent the truth being revealed

In a world without laws, without order and with nobody watching, how far would you go to survive?"

When I spoke to Adam last summer he and the team were in the final stages of a lengthy and time consuming post-production process for this film. One of the things that he mentioned early on was the desire was to produce something that nobody has tried before, in essence, to produce a character driven piece that plays with different styles of presenting the narrative.  

Whether he has achieved something that no one else has done before is open to conjecture, but he has certainly produced an immensely interesting style in telling the story across two distinct timelines; The use of a hand held camera style takes place in the 'pre-apocalypse' storyline that follows Kate and Duke as they slowly unravel the mystery and conspiracy that may affect the whole human race. Whilst this style of filming may not be the favourite of all film goers (myself included) what is does in very offset and accentuate the post-apocalyptic story which is filmed in a more traditional style.

1st rule of the apocalypse - no eye contact with your group

This combination of filming styles has the benefit of providing a strong sense of characterisation of the two principle characters which serves very nicely to make them entirely sympathetic to the audience. In other words, the very personal hand held style provides the perfect method of highlighting the characters ordeals in trying to escape the outbreak and the subsequent lengths they would be prepared to go to survive.

Regardless of my belief that I would indeed be something of a hero leader figure come the apocalypse I am genuinely fascinated to see what would happen to the rest of humanity as  society breaks down. More often than not I tend to be something of an optimistic in most aspects of my day to day life (some may say it's delusion, not optimism), but I have to say that judging from cases around the world when social order disintegrates I don't hold much hope for our long-term cohesion. In truth, would I really be a hero when faced with the dilemma of whether to save someone else or myself first? 

The consideration of such questions is one of the main strengths of Survivors, with Spinks and his team taking the time and patience to explore what might happen if the rules of socialisation didn’t exist anymore.... there are no longer any laws, no longer anything to hold our animal instincts back. Instead of wondering how fast ones Internet download speed is, the only decision now for people is how hard to fight to stay alive and whether the kill or be killed trait that we once had in abundance can surpass our sophisticated evolution.

Survivors is a very good character-driven horror movie set in amongst the unfolding and aftermath of a deadly contagion that turns the infected population into the living dead. 

"There's something on your neck.... no, there"

The film contains more than its fair share of tense and chilling moments while still managing to treat the audience as having more than a modicum of intelligence with some strong emotional characterisation. It is well acted throughout with Joanne Gale as Kate frequently stealing the show with a confident emotional range throughout the film.

There may be some of a particular persuasion that lament the low levels of gore or a zombie film in Survivors, and I could understand that to a degree. However that would do this fine low-budget production a distinct disservice which nevertheless still manages to provide an immensely powerful chilling punch. If you like your British independent films with a skillfully written slice of horror, conspiracy theory and confident story telling then this is the film for you.

Now, come the inevitable apocalypse - what would YOU do to survive?



To find out more about Survivors and how to order the film then visit the website RIGHT HERE

You can find Survivors on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SurvivorsTheMovie/timeline

Survivors can be followed on Twitter via their handle @SurvivorsMovie

Order here.

Twitter.

Facebook.

King Falls AM - Catch up time.

It's been a little while since I shared some of the goings on from a certain sleepy mountain town, or rather specifically, that radio station over there in the U. S. of A - King Falls AM. In fact it was way back in the midst's of time (well, actually it was August) when I extolled upon the merits of Episode 8: Electrolocaust Now - For which you could have a look at the article itself RIGHT HERE.

If you can't really be bothered to read any more of my incessant ramblings (and who quite frankly would blame you?) then episode 8 featured Sammy & Ben who had planned a tribute to King Falls AM's resident jazz legend Chet Sebastian. However an impromptu, and selective power failure took out most of the station's broadcast tools, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.This was another excellent podcast episode that once again contained a wonderful mix of comedy and the supernatural. However, I'm not saying that the horror element necessarily came from the singing - but I'm not sure if Ben's singing escapades may need to repeated, sorry Ben my friend, but I think Travolta's portrayal of Danny Zuko is still safe for now!

It is safe to say that the escapades of those weird and wonderful people in King Falls haven't been falling on deaf ears; not only can the podcasts from the late night show be found on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/king-falls-am/id1016760065 

but also the lovely folks over at audioBoom have partnered up with them to take their feed and blast it all over the world. You can listen to 660 on the AM Dial from your desktop, from their handy dandy mobile app, making King Falls AM anywhere you want to be.

From a purely selfish and shallow viewpoint (I know, that's not like me!) you could simply rely on me pulling once in a while pulling my finger out and keeping you good people up to speed with the episodes on this blog. I know which option I would like you to choose by the choice is obviously yours - just remember me in passing someday? .........

Now, while I may not have been exactly prolific in including the podcasts on here since Episode 8: Electrolocaust Now, the releases have indeed been posted to 5D blog's Facebook page, the link for which can be found RIGHT HERE. However, as Facebook thesedays in its wisdom decides to share pages to an audience of three people, a puppy and a cute kitten, I thought I would provide a brief recap of what has been happening on King Falls AM in the intervening weeks....

Episode Nine: Jack in The Box Jesus featured an alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.You can listen to the show by clicking on the link RIGHT HERE.

Episode Ten: Medium Rare sees Sammy & Ben welcome in studio guest, medium Miss Olivia DuPont, however a miscommunication of her talents brings up some painful memories that both Ben & Deputy Troy wish to forget. You can listen to the show by clicking on the link RIGHT HERE.

Episode Eleven: Ringin' Hell's Doorbell. After an unexpected listener call-in, the boys find a cassette tape in the mail and listen live as an adventure unfolds from one of King Falls less-friendly hiking trails. You can listen to the show by clicking on the link RIGHT HERE.

Which brings us to the latest episode from King Falls AM....

Episode Twelve: All The Pretty Flowers. Against Ben's wishes, Sammy broaches a touchy subject after witnessing a hearse delivering white roses on his way into the station. Is it a King Falls Halloween tradition or could it be something more sinister? #‎RedRumRoses

You can listen to the latest instalment RIGHT HERE.

Anyway, if any of you good people reading this want to help to promote the show and the King Falls AM station, just send Sammy a message and they'll converse with you and plug and all that happy jazz. Sammy can be reached on Twitter through his handle at @KingFallsSammy

You can also locate the show itself on Twitter via @KingFallsAM

The Facebook page for King Falls AM can be found RIGHT HERE

Personalife - Kickstarter campaign

I really don't get some peoples idea that Autumn (or 'The Fall', to my American friends) is the most attractive season of the year. In my view it's an overly romanticised view of a time when the weather is actually rather bloody horrible with the ever increasing wind, rain and cold - not to mention the days getting shorter and shorter. Yes, the leaves on the trees may turn into an array of lovely coloured textures, but that particular vista seems to last for about two days before they drop onto the roads to become a slurry sludge of colourless gunge. Take today for example, here in the North East of Scotland, which is colder than a Conservative's view of foreign immigrants........ Blimey, not only at 5D do you get reflections on the weather, but you you get political satire as well - Jon Stewart eat your heart out.

Anyhoo, the point is that I was feeling a little stretched and thin this week and I desperately needed something here at 5D headquarters to take my mind off the increasing doom that October's weather was affecting on my tiny little mind. Luckily, I wasn't to be disappointed just a few days ago when I received the following email all the way from (presumably an annoyingly sunny) Italy.

"Dear Staff, First of all thanks for your time. My name is Federico Paloschi and with my brother Matteo have created a story called Personalife. We would be honoured if you could take a look to it. We are Italian so it's going to be hard for us to reach US people and maybe you can help us out in this. We love SCI-FI and we worked a lot to this project. Thanks again. Federico & Matteo. 

ps. our campaign will begin on October 15th"

You know something? I've never been called 'staff' before, but I kind of like it! As you know of me all too well, butter me up with even the vaguest of platitudes then you inevitably have my immediate interest. So of course, Federico and Matteo Paloschi immediately peeked this blogger's inquisitiveness. The element that well and truly reeled me in was also the news the involvement of an artist whose work I've admired for some time, but more of him in a little while.

Brothers Federico and Matteo launched just this week a Kickstarter campaign for their project 'Personalife'. The campaign is hoping to raise 15,000 Euros for the creation of a fully illustrated book of approximately 80 pages containing the story, original artwork, and an expansion into the world of Personalife. The book will consist of a full colour illustration accompanied by the different chapters, presented as recorded memories, of the story. Over twenty full colour illustrations will accompany the different chapters, presented as memories, of the story.

But just what is the concept of Personalife I hear you ask? Well that's a very perceptive question, let me enlighten you.

"It's Your Turn To Become A God....... Imagine a life in which you work for eight hours a day, not for money but to obtain TIME… TIME to “spend” within a parallel virtual world in which you can live the life that you have always wanted and dreamed of. The Personalife technology gives man unlimited power and the freedom to decide who he is and which experiences he will live without fear or limitation. 

Can mankind be responsible with such a powerful technology?"

Essentially, Personalife is a story that deals with a hypothetical future world divided into two extremely different communities whose destinies seem they should never intertwine. Eden is an idealised concept of a simple future society that lives in harmony with nature and makes living in the moment a focal point of its existence. Hmmm, very 1960's hippy ideal of love, peace and, ahem, other things - sounds pretty good to me.

In contrast, Equilibrium is a extremely technological society living in a hectic but precisely controlled way under the Sentech (a new social class made up of experts in the different fields of technology). Equilibrium is founded on the design of a behavioral society whose CEO is takes the form of an individual, William Flames. 

The citizens of the city don’t work for money like today - which judging from the amount contained after deductions from my last pay in my current 'day job' may well be the way to go. Instead the people accumulate time to be spent in Personalife: the most powerful technology ever created, allowing those who use it to live in a virtual reality in which every person can attain their utmost dreams without the limitations of money or space. The citizens of Equilibrium have all of this and the freedom to share their fantastic experiences with each other. Hmmm, forget the 1960's hippy ideal of love, peace and instead give me a piece of this place...... (I know, I'm shallow and easily led).

Man’s advance, which seemed unstoppable, was ultimately derailed by the blind certainty of its supremacy, and, at a certain point, was dramatically interrupted giving birth to the worldwide phenomenon named the Fall.

Now the world is divided into new communities, each painstakingly trying to recover the path to new and genuine progress. The story takes place in two of these new communities, diametrically opposed to one another: Eden and Equilibrium.

Sounds good eh? Yes it bloody well does! However, that is not all because as you can seen from the selection of artwork in this article, Personalife also looks great. I mentioned earlier that one of the attractions of this project was the involvement of a particular favourite artist of mine. His name is Victor Togliani. Victor is one of those incredibly annoying people that is not only talented, but his creative talents transfer across a whole different series of mediums and applications. He is an illustrator, sculptor, set designer - costume, props and model designer (maker). If that wasn't enough to fill this bloggers cup of envy to be well and truly overflowing, his work has specialized in science fiction and fantasy working in a wide variety of areas such advertising, editorial, television, film and record industries.

I've been a particular fan of many of his works that have adorned a selection of Science fiction novels and am delighted to see that his art is being further explored as a result of this project. I would love...'cough'......to get my hands on.....'cough'...... some, ahem......original work........'cough!'

As with any good Kickstarter campaign worth its salt, there is an abundance of rewards and offers available with the project, including the art book itself, being available in either English or Italian. 

For example, pledge 50 Euros and that then entitles you to a signed Personalife art book, and Eden t-shirt, the wonderfully bizarre cookbook that features some genuinely original recipes from Eden, a signed CD of the Personalife soundtrack, a backpack and an ebook.

If you are feeling more financially confident and creative then you could do two things. Firstly you could send a heap of money my way - I'm a genuinely worthy cause and faithfully promise to use the funds that you send me for good causes....namely wine and women. 

If you preferred to use your money in a different way than giving it to me (and I wouldn't blame you) then for 1040 Euros you could have the above rewards but also actually become part of the story with your photo taking the part of one of the missing characters. In addition to that, your name is put in print as one of the founders of Personalife, more posters and t-shirts plus dinner (Skype or in person) with the team themselves.

To find out more about this fascinating project then visit the Personalife Kickstarter page at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/personalife/personalife?ref=category_newest

You can find the Personalife Facebook page RIGHT HERE

You can visit Victor Togliani's website to see more of his stunning work at http://www.victortogliani.it

The Jesus And Mary Chain - Interview with Jim Reid

Jim Reid (left) and brother William.

This article is something of a departure from my usual fare in terms of blogging subject matter. If anything, it's also probably by far the most self-indulgent piece I've ever produced - and no doubt if you've ever spent a few moments reading my stuff and nonsense, that really is saying something. However it's my blog, so my rules.

I felt the urge a little while ago to to do a little something different on my blog. However as the court ruling has yet to be made on that other outstanding matter, I'll have stick with the subject of this piece. For some reason I've been thinking about music quite a lot recently, in fact it came to a head the other day when I overheard some people talking in my office (day job duties I'm afraid). They were extolling the virtues of the latest gig they had attended.... "What a show they put on"......."They played all their hits"......"Ooooh they're still so cute" .... were just three of the comments from women who are quite frankly old enough to know better. It was the Take That concert which had taken place here in the North East of Scotland. Yes that's right. Take. Bloody. That. Just why we deserved a visit from them evades me. The ladies then followed that particular conversation up with a look forward to Elton John playing later that week in Aberdeen, well you could have killed me then and I would have thanked you for it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a music snob, just the same as I'm not a Sci-fi & horror snob. It's just that the world of music that they were extolling upon wasn't just a world away from what rocks my particular boat, it was a bloody Alpha Centuri away......and then some. 

My own particular music loves have often fallen into time-frames of personal obsession, though the interviewee in this article needn't worry, I don't mean in a restraining order stalking sort of way. I tend to fixate on their musical output to the point that I go gorge myself over a periods where I try and buy everything I can find that they've ever made. Over the years there have been a number of these obsessions; Robert Johnson, The Velvet Underground, The Beatles, Nick Drake, Pink Floyd, The Jesus & Mary Chain, The Ramones, Radiohead and The Libertines - to name but a few. 

One particular group has for quite a number of years been a constant reminder of just how much I can become obsessed when it comes to music. So much so that I'll be taking one particular song of theirs with me when this here blogger departs this mortal coil. For me, nothing in music has ever equalled power and beauty of The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Back in the day I emulated this look & tried to look as cool
 - I failed miserably......

In fact I've already decided on three of the songs that I want to be played at my funeral. They are, in no particular order;

* April Skies by The Jesus and Mary Chain

* Happiness is a warm Gun by The Beatles

* The Ying Tong song by The Goons.

Now before I cause panic in the hearts of countless women, blog readers and the manufacturers of restraining orders around the world (well at least in my mind), I'm not about to peg it just yet. No, I'm planning to be around for many, many years - Which thinking about it, may well be more likely to cause panic in the hearts of even more women and blog readers etc.

Anyhoo back to The Jesus and Mary Chain. Let's face it, for those of us that were around in the 1980's the music scene was generally crap at the best of times and its worst was bordering on soul destroying. However amongst the constant drivel of the New Romantic tosh of Duran Duran et al, the soullessness of the electronic scene  as well as the mind boggling depressing plasticity of Stock, Aitken & Waterman, there was wonderful 'alternative' scene to save ones sanity. The likes of The Smiths, The Cure, Bauhaus and numerous others were the source of ones musical solace in the same way that John Carpenter was an oasis of cinematic pleasure from the rest of the 1980's Top Gunesque crap.

The Jesus and Mary Chain were perhaps everything I wanted in music at the time, some quite beautiful songs intermixed with sounds of power and danger. There was some Jim Morrison, Velvet Underground, Ramones all in there - but they were far more than that. Whether it was the occasional wall of white noise feedback, the 'couldn't give one flying fuck attitude' or the true essence of Rock & Roll, they had everything I needed and in the few albums that they produced I took all that they had to give. Yep, they were my musical true bliss.

Of course, towards the end of the 1980's The Jesus and Mary Chain slowly began to disintegrate as drink, drugs and in-fighting eventually took its inevitable toll. By the end of the 90's the group was no more. It wasn't until a few short years ago that brothers Jim and William Reid decided to reform the Mary Chain. This suggested that not only was there a chance that new audiences would experience the back catalogue of stunning music that had once been produced on classic albums such as Psychocandy and Darklands, but maybe some new material would be produced too?......

So I ask you what is happiness? I shall tell you. Happiness is discovering that a friend of yours is also a good friend of one of your favourite ever groups and that your friend will ask the lead singer of said favourite group for a brief interview for ones blog. Happiness is learning that said lead singer/songwriter is happy to respond to ones inane questions. 

So what follows is an interview with Jim Reid who graciously gave some time to answer some of my 'tell me why you're so fab & great' questions.



THE INTERVIEW BIT.......

Better than Psychocandy......Oh yes it is.

Q) I believe that we share a mutual love of The Velvet Underground (for me, Pale Blue eyes & Sweet Jane are practically perfect). How much of an influence were they in your musical development?

A) The Velvet Underground along with many others were a huge influence on the Mary Chain, particularly at the beginning of the band.  But even now not much time goes by without me playing something by the Velvets.  In the mid nineteen sixties they just seemed almost ludicrously ahead of their time.

Q) I know the Psychocandy album tends to get most of the plaudits - but Darklands is actually my personal favourite. What are your memories of making that album?

A) By the time we got around to making Darklands there seemed to be a lot of pressure that wasn't around when we recorded Psychocandy.  I remember reading a couple of comments in the music papers - something along the lines of the band should split up before they go and ruin it all!  We seemed to be in an impossible situation.  We felt that had we followed Psychocandy up with more of the same, we would have been crucified for that, but not to do that, we would have been accused of selling out.  In the end we just thought Fuck it, let's just make the record we want to make and let everybody else deal with it.  Darklands, as with any Mary Chain record, we always imagined what people might think of it 10 years down the line.  At all costs we wanted to make a record that we would feel good about at any point in the future.

Q) I'm sure that you're thrilled (sic) to know that I plan to have April Skies played at my funeral. What would be on your funeral playlist?

A) For years I'd left instructions with my sister Linda that if I should die before her, she should play As We Go Along by the Monkees, which would segue into Born to Lose by the Heartbreakers, just as my coffin starts to disappear through the curtain.  I'm not so sure now if I'd even have music or a funeral.  I've toyed with the idea of having my fingerprints burned off with acid and any identifiable features removed, and have my naked body placed on the top of a London double decker bus.  As yet I have no takers to help me achieve this.

Q) Your cover of 'My Girl' was a beaut - if there was one other cover that you wish that you could have done (or still do) what would it be?

A) Really, if we had wanted to do any cover of any particular song, we probably would have done it by now.  But very recently it occurred to me that the Mary Chain could do a very good job of Midnight Moses by the Alex Harvey Band.

Jim Reid on stage in Miami - the
last show of the latest tour.

Q) I've been watching some excerpts of the recent tour of the U.S - what has the reaction been over there to you guys again?

A) The reaction has been generally pretty good and it's nice to look out there and see younger kids that weren't even born at the time we were making these records.

Q) Is touring any easier, better, worse an experience for you than it was earlier in your career?

A) It's not nicer or easier, it's just different.  As to how easy a tour is for me, largely depends on whether I'm drinking or not.  I'm sober at the moment so finding it quite tough.

Q) What news, if any, about the much vaunted album of new material from The Jesus and Mary Chain?

A) We are in the process of recording that record right now, but it's early days.

Q) Personally I think the current music scene is pure crap. What's your opinion?

A) I gave up listening to new music quite a while ago.  The kind of music I'm interested in moves in cycles.  After a while you get to the point where you came in.  There's not much in rock music that is truly unique.  I'd rather listen to Television than listen to some new band that sound like Television.  Also, great music has a way of getting through to the people that would appreciate it anyway.  I've heard some great bands in the past that got through to me without me reading music mags or listening to the radio.

Q) Do you feel you've mellowed with age, or like me do you still get as angry as ever?

A) I suppose in some ways it's inevitable, but not quite that simple.  I guess the older I get, the more tolerant I am of some things.  Having kids tends to put things into perspective too.  Sometimes I do feel a little ground down by the weight of the bullshit that one encounters.  But having said all that, I suppose I can still have a good rant with the best of them.

Q) One for my blog - what's your favourite movie and why?

A)  I like movies very much and couldn't pick just one film.  But since you do a sci-fi blog, I love The Illustrated Man, which was based on the book by Ray Bradbury, which I also loved.

Q) You're going to play up here in Aberdeen at some point, right? :-)

A) I guess when we get this new album together there will be the inevitable tours.  Let's see what we can do about Aberdeen...

Funeral song number 1

I cannot thank Jim enough for taking a little time to talk to this fan. Of course, reading that last sentence "Let's see what we can do about Aberdeen..." in other words means that Jim and I are now regarded as BFF's in his mind and that he's probably right at this moment rearranging the Jesus and Mary Chain itinerary to include a few shows nearer to where I live here in the the North East of Scotland.  Thanks Jim.

To read the current news about shows (before they're amended to suit just me) and find read (better written than this) accounts of the band then visit their website at http://thejesusandmarychain.uk.com

Shopping Tour (2012)...."It’ll cost you an arm and a leg …"

Written and directed by: Mikhail Brashinsky

Cast: Tatyana Kolganova, Timofey Yeletsky

Genre: horror | Year: 2012 | Cert: 15 [TBC] | Country: Russia

Language: Russian / Finnish with English subtitles | Running Time: 70 minutes

Released in the UK on DVD and VOD - 26 October 2015

It's not often that I'm lost for words, but this week I was indeed momentarily at a loss for something to say. A few days ago I received an email from the wonderfully named Sharp Teeth Films asking me if I'd like to watch a soon to be released film, Shopping Tour, which features Finnish cannibals feasting on an unsuspecting group of Russian tourists in a paranoid, satirical horror comedy. Blimey, I thought to myself, that’s not the sort of request one gets every day - well not in the legal sense of the word anyway. Naturally I felt the need to investigate further, I needed more information, I needed more details…… I needed a synopsis. And so the good people at Sharp Teeth Films provided me with one.

….."Unlucky Russian tourists get more than they bargain for, when their shopping trip to Finland turns into a fight for survival. According to ancient Finnish tradition, Summer Solstice marks the one day a year when locals eat foreigners …......Part social satire, part survival horror recalling Romero’s DAWN OF THE DEAD, with a topical mix of underlying themes including xenophobia, immigration panic, consumerism and personal morality."

Now there are very few things that I would say that I hate, life is just too damn short to waste time on such an extreme and often destructive emotion. All too often people overuse the word 'hate' with such abandon and ill-thought out considerations of what the actual implications could be for others. However, if someone was to tie me down (as it were) and demand to know some of my personal pet hates then a few things would spring to mind. Firstly Pistachio nut shells that don't open, despite near breaking a finger nail in the attempt - I hate those bastards with a passion. In a very close second on the list would be the super sized shopping store or mall, god don't get me started on those soul-sucking creations with their insipid background music, pseudo-psychological methods to get you to buy stuff that you simply don't need and the endless fast food areas with each and every one of them attempting to take you on that one way train to heart attack city. In terms of film styles, there's little that I hate, but there is much I dislike - for instance the found-footage style has never found it's shaky hand held way onto my personal Christmas card list.

All this meant that it was doubtful whether Shopping Tour would viewed with a semblance of appreciation even before I watched it, because it contains two of the three aforementioned pet hates (Spoiler alert; there are no Pistachios in this film). So would I actually enjoy a film that combines shopping stores and a found footage style of filming? Well do you know something? I really did.

This Russian/Finnish horror comedy is the child creation of Mikhail Brashinsky, who not only wrote, directed, produced and edited the project, but he probably helped to sweep the floors and fetch drinks too. Now I don't profess an in-depth knowledge of Russian-Finnish relations and attitudes, but it seems quite clear from the outset that Brashinsky is quite keen to find amusement in the obsession that many Russians seem still to have after the advent of communism with what they regard as their more sophisticated consumerist western neighbours. At the same time there is also a constant undercurrent of commentary on the contemporary hot social topic of immigration and the xenophobia that often accompanies it.

Shopping Tour was shot on a tiny budget of $70,000 over a period of just 11 days and has already been the winner of Critics’ Prize, Best Female Performance and Grand-Prix at the Russian National Film Festival ‘Window to Europe’ and the Special Jury Prize at the Polar Lights International Film Festival in St. Petersburg. A popular film on the international film festival circuit, screening at Sitges International Festival of Fantastic Cinema, Gothenburg International Film Festival and Torino International Film Festival.

The first act of the film sees a young teenage boy, played by Timofey Yeletsky who is reluctantly accompanying his mother, played by the delectable Tatyana Kolganova, on a short coach trip across the border from Russia to Finland. It is quite clear from the outset that the boy has a perpetual sulk on with life, particularly as his father has recently died and seemingly resents his mother for their situation. Matters are made even worse for his state of mood when his mother confesses that the coach trip is simply to visit some of the seemingly more affluent and superior shopping malls that the Finns have to offer. So in order to reduce his boredom, he decides to film all that he sees on his mobile phone camera. This first section of the film is where Brashinsky is clearly having fun with pastiching the notion of Russian perceptions of feeling less cultured and advanced in regard to consumerist opportunities. An early favourite scene is where every passenger on the bus has to remove all luggage and submit themselves to very personal border checks , all in the name of shopping. 

This impressionable innocence of the Russian shoppers is soon further exploited when they are given news by their guide that a brand spanking new mega store in Southern Finland has agreed to open up especially for them. So the tired but desperate shoppers are dropped off in the middle of Finnish nowhere and stumble into this sparkling new store... However it soon becomes clear that it's not technological consumer goods that will be on the shopping list, but the consumers themselves as the Russians are attacked by bloodthirsty and flesh eating Finnish employees. The shoppers need to get out of the store and they need to do it before they die a grizzly death. We've all been there.

The final third of Shopping Tour is a fast paced adrenaline ride as the mother and son try to outwit and outrun the flesh eating locals who are equally intent on fulfilling their annual right to eat as many Russians as they can. Interposed within the frantic scenes there are some wonderful sections which wonderfully contrast the terror of the victims with the suburban normality of the Finns - the one scene involving the picnic with the local police and council members is simply a joy. The film's final scene is genuinely horrific and disquieting leaving the viewer with a picture that will stay in ones mind for some time.

Shopping Tour will not appeal to all facets of the horror community, but lets face it, what film ever does? There will undoubtedly be some who are put off by the hand held found footage style, especially some of the more frantic 'run away' moments which sees the picture bounce around to the point some may feel a little queasy at the effect it produces. The low budget also ensures that the film rarely shows too much in the way of gore which may disappoint those who like their high dosage quota of zombie blood and guts. Indeed, the film is quite clearly more of a chiller than a horror while the comedy is more considered than slapstick.

Are these major concerns and drawbacks? Well no, because what Mikhail Brashinsky has contrived to produce is a warm yet pointed commentary on social values and wraps it up in a very enjoyable slice of Zombie eating fun. 

On a totally unrelated note, I have the misfortune to visit a certain Scandinavian furniture store this weekend - now I know these are Swedes, not Finns, but one cannot be too careful. So I'm taking a big heavy cricket bat with me for protection. 

Sharp Teeth Films promises to bring a taste of the unusual to UK audiences via cinema, DVD and VOD releases. Our carefully curated line-up will include a mix of languages and genres, with a focus on stories that are provocative, distinctive and thought-provoking … films with ‘bite’. The first two releases are New York documentary Rubble Kings, highlighting the true story behind cult classic The Warriors and ‘holiday from hell’ horror Shopping Tour, a George Romero-inspired satire. You can find out more at their website http://sharpteethfilms.com

A little bit about director Mikhail Brashinsky:

"The first popular film critic in Russian cinema to turn to filmmaking, Mr. Brashinsky has made his debut with BLACK ICE (GOLOLED, 2003) which he wrote, directed and edited. It premiered at the Rotterdam Int’l Film Festival, was an Official Selection of the 2003 Berlinale, and received the New Directors Showcase Award at the Seattle Int’l Film Festival. Since then, Mr. Brashinsky has directed ANOMALOUS ZONE (ANOMALNAYA ZONA, 2003), an episode of The Killing Force, a hit TV-series for Russia’s Channel 1, TUNGUS METEORITE (TUNGUSSKYI METEORIT, 2008), a TV-pilot, and BLOOD TYPE (GRUPPA KROVI, 2006) a documentary on Russian Koreans. SHOPPING TOUR (2012), his second feature and his first effort as a producer, has received three major prizes at the Russian National Film Festival ‘Window to Europe’ in Vyborg, 2012 (Critics’ Prize, Best Female Performance, and Grand-Prix) and the Special Jury Prize at the Int’l Film Festival Polar Lights, 2012, St. Petersburg. It also screened at int’l film festivals in Helsinki, Turin, Gothenburg, Sitges, Budapest, Wiesbaden and Nashville.