SPIDARLINGS - A Horror Musical

I must admit to being immediately intrigued when I received a message to the Facebook  page for this blog from Rahel Kapsaski, the  artistic Director of Après Vague Productions informing me about the current production of their first Feature Film "Spidarlings". She kindly asked me if I would look at the trailer they had produced and if I liked it, would I write a few words about it on here.

Now, at this moment in time, the internet seems awash with independent productions of Science Fiction and horror, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. The ability to make such productions as been revolutionised by the advent of the Internet and Social media - it truly is an exciting time for those of us that yearn for something a little different, something a little less 'mainstream' within these genres that we love so much. ……. and boy do I love something a little different.

I envy the creativity and drive that it takes to produce work on what is often the most meagre of budgets and limited location opportunities.  That's not to say that mainstream horror for example should be disregarded in the belief that it has become too formulaic, there are numerous examples of productions that are still continuing to shine. We may not be in the golden age of horror of the 1970's any longer, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything out there worth paying attention to.

Sandra Samacá  (Director of photography)    

The people involved in 'small' independent ventures like these should demand our appreciation and attention. They are the true cutting edge of Science Fiction and Horror at this stage of the 21st Century and since starting this little blog of self-indulgence I've been lucky to have been involved in a small way with some excellent people doing the most excellent of works. 

So what is this Spidarlings?

Spidarlings is a Horror/Musical and a Tongue-in-cheek satire about the British Welfare system. The film, written and directed by Salem Kapsaki, set to songs and music by Jeff Kristian, is about to go into post production and will premier this summer at the DUFF ( Detroit Under ground Film Festival) and  Film 4 Frightfest - not bad eh? 

The movie is the story of Eden (played by Sophia Disgrace) and Matilda (Rahel Kapsaski)

And well, things just aren't going too rosy for the young couple who are near penniless and face being evicted by their landlord after falling disastrously behind with their rent. To make matters worse, no money is forthcoming from the social services, which is of little surprise as the girls have had a conscious lifelong fight against becoming one of society's normal people. 

However, living on the edge of society has come at a price. so much so that Matilda eventually has to settle for working at a local nightclub (the wonderfully named 'Juicy Girls'), and soon suffering the attentions of the men who pay to drink and talk with the girls of the club - she hates it. 

Could things get worse for the lovely couple? Erm, yes.

Could life get any weirder than it is already? Gloriously so.

 

For soon the female staff at  "Juicy Girls' start suffering hideous deaths at the hands of a sadistic serial killer, which is not a good thing. What is good is that as a consequence of the killings, a good deal of money comes into Matilda's hands. This turn of events doesn't please Eden, well that is until she is 'persuaded' to accept the newly acquired money with with a present of a tarantula spider ( the present of choice for all of us naturally). However, the arrival of the very 'special' Spider has profound effects on one and all!!

So I ask you to watch the trailer for the movie (see below). Put aside any pre-conceived notions that you may have about Independent Horror productions……. I ask you, just where can you go wrong with Horror, Drag Queens, Lesbians, a nightclub called 'Juicy Girls', mass murder and a very special Tarantula Spider called Rainer?! If that wasn't enough, there is also a guest appearance from the legendary director, Lloyd Kaufman of The Toxic Avenger fame….. well I'm sold. 

Lloyd Kaufman as Mr Banner with Sophia Disgrace and Rahel Kapsaski

One final thing, I implore you to listen to the film's title song by Two Russian Cowboys feat Cleo  Spider in love. I listened to it earlier today and it's completely addictive.

If you love your John Waters, Divine and The Cramps…… you will love this I hope. I can't wait for the full movie later in the year and hope to be talking to some of the film's contributors soon.

For more information on Spidarlings - their Facebook page is here.

The Trailer for Spidarlings

The Man who Haunted Himself.

There are a number of supposedly undeniable laws of cinema that people seem to believe are absolute beyond all scientific deniability. For example, Law number 1; Roger Moore's only major acting skill in portraying any emotion was to raise an eyebrow ( just one at a time mind you). Law number 2; George Lucas lost the plot with The Phantom Menace (Yes Jar Jar Binks, I'm talking about you) . Then of course there is Law number 3; the old chestnut, that The Exorcist is the most terrifying movie ever ever made.......ever.

Now on the face of it, those three laws of cinema are pretty much water tight in their assumptions. I personally love The Phantom Menace, but even putting aside the absolute annoyance (& not to mention racist undertones) of Mr Binks and the sheer total mind wrenching annoyance of the brat kid who played Annakin, much of the movie is something of a meandering & soulless piece of cinema. The Exorcist is a great film I agree. It frequently tops various all time favourite horror film lists with it's incredibly frightening set pieces, a stunning ensemble cast and eminently quotable sections of dialogue. (It's not MY personal favourite, but it's up there somewhere). Finally, yes it's a well known fact that Roger Moore couldn't really act, even if his life depended on it. We all love him, he may not be a favourite bond ( he is actually mine), but we all snicker a little at his limited acting range. 

Well actually, dear reader, on that last point we may be quite wrong. In fact I would argue that people would be very, very wrong. For you see, Roger could act when given the right role, and boy was he given the right role in a little known 1970 psychological thriller/horror called The Man who haunted himself.

Just why this gem of British thrillers is still largely ignored outside its' small but loyal cult following will be discussed shortly. Suffice to say at this point, that it is criminal that it doesn't have a much wider following.

The story is taken from a short story from the  'Alfred Hitchcock presents' series. It features a very British, a very strait laced upper middle class character called Harold Pelham. "Hmm, so far that doesn't sound too much of a stretch for Mr Moore" I hear you say........well, hold on a moment, there's more. Harold is a very successful business executive in a large electronics company whose life reflects his very conservative outlook on life; 

He is your archetypal Bowler hat and umbrella brigade, he takes few chances, his relationship with his wife lacks passion, oh, he also has a rather unfortunate moustache. Still not convinced?Well lets continue.
All is running smoothly in Harold's world until one day when he is involved in a terrible car accident. The reason for the car accident seems either to be a panic attack or possibly some sort of momentary demonic possession of Harold that forces the car off the road at high speed. Needing emergency surgery he is taken straight to hospital where, whilst on the operating table, he is declared clinically dead. This is until suddenly a double heartbeat is seen momentarily in the scanner just before Harold then starts to slowly recover his vitals. 

After a long convalescent in hospital he's eventually released, only to find that his beautifully ordered world has been turned upside down. Harold soon discovers that a precise double of him has recently been seen in places that he's never been, and has upsurged his place as head of the family. His business has been undermined as a merger that he previously actively opposed has now taken place. It seems that he has even had the gumption to undertake an extramarital affair. This 'other' Harold seems to have a distinct taste for the high life.

At first he thinks that this is all some elaborate practical joke played by his family & friends. However , the number of occasions when he is confronted with stories of people having dealings with him when he couldn't have possibly been there lead Harold to start doubting his own sanity. So the question is  whether Harold is going insane or has his life been taken over by a malicious double of himself?

This is one of the great strengths of this movie, as from the moment Harold leaves the hospital and starts to 'discover' that he may have a doppelganger, the audience is left guessing right to the end about what is actually taking place. Are the series of events merely delusions of Harold lying unconscious in his hospital bed, is he suffering from Dissociative identity disorder or is he in fact really being forced out of his own life by his alter-ego? Consequently, the movie on one level becomes an exercise in examining the human condition. Psychological explanations start to abound in ones mind - Freudians would cream themselves trying to analyse the battle emanating from his unconscious between his Id (the new, bad, exciting and lustful Harold) and his superego (the old staid, conservative and rather boring Harold). 

Clinical Psychologists would counter that (nonsense) with the argument that Harold's disorder is thought to stem from trauma , in this case, physical and mental trauma from the car accident. That Harold's separate dual personalities are in fact  a coping mechanism. Or, as the rest of us may argue, this is a supernatural event and that a doppelganger has indeed being created and now it's a battle between the two to see who will come out the winner. I'll leave that up to you if and when you get to see the film.

So this brings me back to addressing one of the laws of cinema. Namely, Roger Moore's limited acting ability. Moore himself has gone on record as saying that this is the only movie he ever appeared in that he was allowed to 'act'. Always regarded as a pretty boy leading man, firstly in the 60's television series, The Saint, then with Tony Curtis in The Persuaders and finally as a certain secret agent chappie - all a good body of work no doubt in which no-one of sound mind could deny the charm and humour be brought to his roles. The problem was that none of these roles tested the RADA trained actor as he fast became a hostage to the typecasting roles that came his way. On the one hand Moore is far too much of a gentleman to complain about this situation, after all he has gained riches and fame on the basis of a perceived lack of acting range. However, it is clear from numerous interviews that he feels  this movie, out of everything he has ever been involved in, is clearly his best work. He isn't wrong.

Quite simply, he is a revelation in this role, or rather, roles. He is on camera in virtually every scene of the film as either the good or bad character. This revelation may be in part due to the fact that he was directed by one of the finest of British directors, Basil Dearden, who had previously been responsible for such cinematic classics as The Assassination Bureau, Khartoum and Dead of Night. Dearden brings out in Moore a performance of genuine depth and conviction that perfectly conveys the range of emotions in his character which start from vague confusion and ending in raging fear and unrelenting paranoia. Not only does Dearden let Moore show the true range of his acting abilities he moves the pace of the movie along at a cunningly effective pace until the final thrilling climax. I won't spoil the ending for those that haven't seen it, but the final scenes where Harold finally 'see's the truth are spellbinding, traumatic and thoroughly effective.

Sadly, this was to be Basil Dearden's final movie as shortly after he was decapitated in a car accident in virtually one of the locations where he had filmed only months before.

So why is The Man who haunted Himself  a triumph of supernatural story telling and yet performed poorly on it's initial release? Indeed, to this day the film has yet to attain the level of acclaim that other releases that suffered the same initial fate have now garnered. I will be the first to admit that some aspects of the movie haven't aged as well as some of its contemporaries of that era, the musical soundtrack for one. However, it's partly because of how it's aged which I suggest actually gives it an added charm. I think the reason why it is underrated is two-fold. Firstly, Moore has gone on record in his autobiography that the movie had no chance from the moment it was completed due to the amateurish marketing and diabolical under promotion on  the film's behalf. It's not an uncommon problem, British horror has historically suffered from lacklustre or inaccurate marketing and publicity campaigns. Movies such as The Wicker Man, now regarded quite rightly as classics of their genre's, suffered from problematic theatrical releases but have gained huge status in the intervening years. 

The Man who haunted Himself has not achieved that modern day classic status, which brings me onto the 2nd reason for it's continuing obscurity; and that it Roger Moore himself. In the 1980's the satirical puppet show Spitting Image featured a long-running joke about Roger's acting (or rather lack of) ability. Scenes would feature his director pleading with him to show anger, the puppet Moore would respond by raising his left eyebrow. The director would then ask for fear, the right eyebrow would be raised…..you get the picture? 

The fact is is that Moore has never been taken seriously as an actor by the general public, and also by various 'film critics' that quite frankly should know better. When I am king of the world (and its only a matter of time) I will make it my first job to make sure sure everyone gets the chance to watch this masterpiece. Because my friends, one of cinema's laws has been broken, Roger Moore can act.

Have a looksee at the rare cinematic trailer to wet your appetite.

An Interview with, and an appreciation of, Adrienne Barbeau

The fifth Dimension is very proud to produce the transcript of a short interview with the actress, director, singer and author, Adrienne Barbeau.

Adrienne Barbeau is a much loved favourite of horror fans worldwide having appeared in unquestionable classics of the genre such as as Wes Craven's Swamp Thing  and George A. Romero's Creepshow (both in 1982) . Perhaps her most celebrated appearances took place in John Carpenter's original The Fog in 1980 and his classic Escape from New York in 1981. In addition, who could ever forget classics such as the Roger Corman Burial of the Rats for cable television or the wonderfully titled Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death?…… not me, thats for sure!

Apart from gracing the the plethora of horror productions Adrienne has had a rich and varied career as a singer, talk show host and in the last few years, she has gained a name for herself as an author. The release of her memoir, There Are Worse Things I Could Do in 2006 which chronicles her amazing life with accounts of being a go-go dancer working for the mob; her breakthrough stage role of Rizzo in “Grease”; her romantic relationships ; marrying the genius of horror filmaking, John Carpenter; giving birth to twins at the age of 51; and talking about her extensive and varied body of horror work. 

After that she turned to fiction with Vampyres of Hollywood, a thriller about an A-list Hollywood scream queen who just happens to be a 450 year old vampire. The sequel Love Bites has also now been released which again follows the exploits of scream queen, Ovsanna Moore.

Adrienne succumbed to my pestering and kindly agreed to answer a few questions on her life and career.

(FD) When did you first start acting & what/who inspired you to do so?

(AB) I started taking ballet when I was 3, and then voice lessons when I was 10.
I don't remember being inspired by anyone, but I did have a mother who was very encouraging. By the time I was in Jr. High school, I was doing school plays and musicals with a community theatre group and really enjoying myself.

(FD) What was your first big break? 

Adrienne centre front as 'Rizzo' in the stage production of Grease.

(AB) My first great job was playing Tevye's second daughter Hodel in *Fiddler on the Roof * on Broadway. I consider that a big break because I was finally supporting myself as an actor!

I stayed in the show almost two and a half years. But it was *Grease *that led to *Maude*which led to everything else, so I suppose you could say that was the jumping off point.

(FD) You have a huge fan-base of horror fans throughout the world. Do you feel as if your work in horror has eclipsed your extensive body of workoutside that genre?

(AB) I don't think so. Depends on your age, really. Most of my *Maude * fans don't even know about the genre films, and then the horror fans probably don't know about the stage work. Probably don't care, either! That's okay with me; as long as there's something I've done that they enjoyed, I'm a happy camper.

(FD) One consistent theme in your characters is that of a strong, resilient woman. The role of Stevie Wayne in The Fog is a case in point. Is that thesort of woman you feel more comfortable playing?

(AB) It's definitely the sort of role that comes easy to me. And that I'm drawnto. Not too comfortable playing victims. 

That smokey sexy voiced DJ in The Fog

(FD) Is that the type of strong female character you feel has been lacking in horror movies?

(AB) Oh boy, I'm not the person to answer this question. I can count the number of horror movies I've seen on one hand. I love doing them; don't like watching them.

(FD) Apart from your fine performance & the sexy radio DJ voice .... What is It about The Fog do you think that now more than ever resonates with fans?

(AB) Maybe the atmosphere? The lack of CGI? The telling of a really good ghost story with characters you care about set in a great location?

(FD) Was it difficult working with your then husband John Carpenter on that movie and indeed also on Escape from New York? 

(AB) Not at all. I love working with John, as, I think you'll find, does every other actor who's had the opportunity. You can read more about ourspecific experiences together in my memoir *There Are Worse Things I Could Do. *I get to tell some fun stories about "The Master of Horror" there.

(FD) In Escape from New York, you appeared with one of my favourite actors, Donald Pleasence. What was he like to work with?

(AB) I loved Donald. He was hysterically funny. There were times when he had me laughing so hard I had to ask John to hold the roll because I couldn't get it together to say my lines.

(FD) In fact, your list of directors in horror reads like a who’s who of iconic directors of the Genre. What was it like working with Wes Craven (Swamp Thing) and George.A Romero (Creepshow)?

(AB) Again, both fantastic men to work for. Brilliant, supportive, kind, knowing what they want on screen and how to get it in the best possible way.

In 'Swamp Thing'

A grizzly end for the scream queen in 'Creepshow'

(FD) These days you're fast gaining a new audience with your Writing career - how did that change of career direction happen?

(AB) I started taking a writing class to fill the void left in my life by the passing of a very close friend. Quickly learned if you're going to take a writing class, you have to write. So I started telling stories from my career -- filming with rats all over me in a studio in Moscow when the government declared Martial Law and civil war was threatened; dating Burt Reynolds long 

before the filming of *Cannonball Run; *making *Swamp Thing *in the swamps with the gators and snakes;  as one of the first go-go girls in NYC in a mobbed up cocktail lounge -- things like that, and that eventually became a best selling book, which then led to the Vampyres of Hollywood books.

(FD) In Vampyres of Hollywood, we are introduced to Ovsanna Moore, who is known as the 'Scream Queen' of Hollywood. Anyone we may know per chance? :-)

(AB) Well, you know what they say..."write what you know". :-)

(FD) I found Vampyres of Hollywood a wholly enjoyable read ...Satire,elements of film noir & Characters full of depth and dimension. Have you had anyone in the film business accuse you of basing any of the characters on them? 

(AB) As you know, most of the recognizable characters are dead. At least, inreal life. So they're not complaining. When I wrote Tom Atkins in as a character, I made sure I read it all to Tommy first to get his blessing. As for the villains, I doubt that anyone would want to be acknowledged as having anything in common with them, save their professions as agents and paparazzi.

(FD) For those who haven’t read ‘Love Bites’, your recent follow up to Vampyres of Hollywood, what can you tell us about that story?

(AB) I like *Love Bites *even more than *Vampyres of Hollywood. *It has more of my sense of humor, I think, and more sensuality or sexuality or whatever you call it, with the love triangle between Ovsanna and her female assistant and the detective, Peter King. And I get a kick out of the scene with vampyre Orson Welles morphing in and out of a rat's body. I haven't got a clue where that came from in my head, but it makes me laugh.

(FD) What does the future hold for Adrienne Barbeau - author? More Ovsanna Moore hopefully?

(AB) Well, *Love Bites *was just released digitally as an e-book on Amazon, soI'm pleased about that. And I'm supposed to be writing a one-woman show based on *There Are Worse Things I Could Do,*but  I my sons' soccer games seem to be taking precedence so it might be a few more months before that sees the light of day. In the meantime, I'm recording a name yet to be revealed video game and waiting for the next good script to come along while I look forward to visiting my son, Cody (Carpenter, for all your horror readers) in Japan.

I'd like to thank Adrienne again for her time. The interview was conducted by email over the 7th and 8th of April.

In praise of Ingrid Pitt

The Queen of British Horror

The term 'cult status' is an often over used term these days, particularly within the current and seemingly never ending 'sparkling' vampire genre. It seems that wherever I look on pages and forums there are a plethora of  said 'sparkling' vamps being bestowed with the term iconic etc etc. Not that I have anything against Twilighty-esq vampires…… well actually I do, but that's another story for possible a different blog entry in the future.

Few female stars of the genre have achieved such a level of affection and obsession in the hearts of we horror fans as Ingrid Pitt. It is a fact made more interesting given that her movie output wasn't that large, in fact she only appeared in a very small handful of Hammer movies. So it's testament to her enduring appeal that her name is still synonymous with vampires, plunging necklines and a screen presence of genuine sensual menace. 

So here is my own little personal tribute to the true queen of British horror. 

Ingrid was born Ingoushka Petrov on the 21 November 1937 in Warsaw. Her mother was Jewish and her father was a leading scientist who was 'requested' by the Nazi's at the outbreak of war to help develop the rockets to attack London - he refused. As a consequence the five year old Pitt and her mother were sent to a concentration camp where they were haled captive for three years until they managed to escape one day after being led away to be shot. For the remaining years of the war they lived rough with the local partisans until finally settling in Berlin after the fighting in Europe finally ceased.

After catching the acting bug in her teens she became a member of Bertolt Brecht's prestigious Berliner Ensemble theatre company.

She eventually gained a number of minor roles in the movies until her first major appearance opposite Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton in Where Eagles Dare in 1968. She played the part of a German double agent posing as the cafe waitress with the plunging neckline in the classic second world war piece of nonsense. Interestingly, to get the part she had to tell the producers that she was German, which naturally wasn't something she enjoyed having to do.

 Ingrid's 1st major role - 'Where Eagles dare'……. "Broadsword calling Danny boy"

    

A couple of years after providing a 'glimpse' of the future scream queen she landed the role of a character that would come to define her in Hammer Horror's 'The Vampire lovers', based on Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's story Carmilla.

Ingrid & Maddie Smith - perfect

The movie features Ingrid as Mircalla Karnstein, a two century old lesbian vampire who persuades her young female victims to offer up their pretty necks and bosoms before consuming their blood. For you see, Mircalla from time to time comes back from her death sleep, to spread terror throughout the village . General Von Spielsdorf loses his nubile daughter to Mircalla, and promises revenge, with the help of the skilled vampire-killer Baron Hartog and their Doctor. Cue all manner of blood curdling episodes!

It all sounds like your standard cheesy Hammer flick with an assortment of ranges of acting, and to be honest, much of it is cheesy. However, Ingrid's presence adds a depth to the proceedings that otherwise may be lacking. Yes, she does spend much of the movie walking about in the flimsiest of gowns and nightwear ( not such a bad thing I tell you). However, her charisma and genuine erotic menace certainly transcends parts of the movie that would otherwise be rather high on the cheese element. This makes this movie far better than it's much maligned image would suggest. It's by no means a great film, but it's still a good film which benefits both from Pitt's fabulous performance, but also features the eminently dependable Peter Cushing.

Also, the fact that the film also features the delicious Madeline Smith has absolutely no bearing on my love for this film :-).

The Vampire Lovers trailer - just suck it and see….

This performance was quickly followed by her second and final appearance in a Hammer movie in the title role of Countess Dracula. The portrayal was inspired in part on the life of Countess Elizabeth Báthory, a  serial killing Hungarian aristocrat no less, who was accused of murdering approximately 600 female victims! Though she did meet her own sticky end when she was eventually found out and punished by being sealed in her room to starve to death. So that's alright then.

Ingrid is the now- ageing Countess Elisabeth Nodosheen, who discovers (as you do) that virgins’ blood can restore her beautiful youthful looks — but only for a short period of time before her body returns to an ever increasing state of age and decay. 

Would you like bubbles or virgin blood in your bath ma'am?

It doesn't take long in the movie before she’s bathing naked in blood, kidnapping her own daughter and ransacking the surrounding countryside for fresh nubile victims. I ask you, just what's not to like about a story like that?!

The film does suffer from the leisurely pace that it is filmed, at times it is distinctly pedestrian. The scenery and sets though are sumptuous and once again Pitt is truly excellent (as is Nigel Green, who plays her helper). Ingrid, part from the raw sexuality she brings to the role also portrays perfectly how the Countess struggles to reconcile the limitations imposed by her rapidly deteriorating face and her frustrations at the weakness shown by the various men around her.

The one exasperating element of the movie was the infamous dubbing of Ingrid's trademark ( no, not THOSE trademarks!) eastern European accent. An issue that didn't please her one little bit when she found out.

The trailer for Countess Dracula

Ingrid went onto make two more noticeable appearances shortly after, in the Amicus horror anthology film The House That Dripped Blood in 1971 - once again featuring her plunging neckline and flowing hair (I repeat, no bad thing). Ingrid co-stars with the then Doctor Who Jon Pertwee in an a not to be taken too serious story about a vain horror actor who discovers that his leading lady has particular intentions for his blood. The role was originally meant for another stalwart of horror, Vincent Price for which I can't help feel that this would have made a finer movie if it had happened.

 This multi-part horror from Amicus (Hammer's main production rival at the time) also features two of the genre’s best loved actors, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

However,  it is the image of Pitt from the movie’s final segment that resonates in most peoples memories. Her screen presence was that effective.

Ingrid's title as the Queen of British horror was finally sealed by her appearance in the classic 'The Wicker Man. Though she had a limited role in the movie as the seemingly unremarkable librarian on the Scottish island of Summerisle, it is still memorable. I've previously written about this stunning movie in an earlier blog so if you're interested to know more about it ( which you should be!) then have a look for that.

Just a few fun and games in 'The Wicker man'

 

As I've said, Ingrid's part in the movie was small, although he director did find time to film a short scene of her lying naked in a bath….Again, no bad thing.

After The Wicker Man Ingrid continued to work on screen in the 1970s and 80s as she appeared in Who Dares Wins in1982, the classic espionage television series Smiley's People 1982, and three episodes of Doctor Who in 1984.

Ingrid wrote a number of books, including her autobiography, Life's a Scream in which she talked about her memories of imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp. She also wrote The Ingrid Pitt Book of Murder, Torture and Depravity in 2000, and often attended horror conventions and fan gatherings. In fact, it was while she was on her way to one of these fan gatherings on the 23rd November 2010 when she collapsed and died a few days later at the age of 73

For many of us though, Ingrid Pitt will forever be the Queen of British horror.

My Science fiction influence - 2000AD comic.

I openly admit it - my obsession with Science fiction has few, if any boundaries. I don't regard myself as an sci-fi aficionado or snob……. and certainly not an expert. I love H.G Wells, Jules Verne, Star Trek, Star Wars, Solaris and Spaceballs all with equal abandon. I'm often asked what began my obsession with this genre (well actually, I'm never asked that question…… but lets just say for arguments sake that I am), my reply is rather easy. So once more we take a walk down one of the lanes of my memory, so take my hand and all will be made clear.

The very first copy - It used up every penny I had!

It began when I was 10 years old. 

One afternoon I was walking home from school with Ian Ogilvy, who happened to be my best mate at the time. The trip normally would take about 30 minutes to get home, it should have only been only 10, but you know how young boys are. About three quarters of the way home he started talking about a new comic that had come out only that week. "It's not like the usual ones we get, it's not like ANYTHING else" …. I distinctly remember the emphasis he put on the word 'anything'. 

Now, my dearest Fifth dimension blog reader, you need to be aware of the comic landscape back in the later 1970's. It was incredibly competitive - weekly sales were through the roof of many well established titles and the average shelf life of new comics was usually, at best, just a few short years. Many kids had their specific favourites and we were no different - I had yet to fully embrace the wonders of Marvel comics and so at the particular time we were obsessed with the war comic 'Battle'. Also being a bit of a football and cricket freak, i was also a huge fan of the sports comic Shoot!.  So, as for many comic buyers, it was going need something special to take me away those particular affections - I was very set in my ways you know.

Now this is where the makers of 2000AD were either very fortunate, or very clever. By 1977 the genre of Science fiction was moving away from the niche market that it had always inhabited to becoming mainstream - and we're talking big time mainstream of monstrous proportions! The success of a certain Star Wars movie, together with Close Encounters of the 3rd kind et al meant that a huge Science Fiction Tsunami seemed to be taking over popular culture at the time…..and I mean it was everywhere! You couldn't turn on a television without seeing a light sabre, droid or an alien of any type. The timing was perfect. 2000AD was a comic that tapped into this cultural explosion and not only that, it was edgy, it took chances, it was intense, in parts it was shocking at times. 

The artwork and story lines had an immediate sophistication that put it's competitors immediately in the shade. Indeed few, if any, of the competing titles at the time which were also trying to ride the science fiction Tsunami lasted very long and soon fell by the wayside. My friend Ian was quite right ( as he usually was in most things), 2000AD wasn't like anything else. The very next day after school finished I used up the only pennies that I had and bought that very first copy.

The first copy, and the immediate ones that followed each week, were intensely seductive in their mixture of futuristic offerings which at times pulled no punches when it came to mixing in a little horror and gore. It was to this, and many other pre-adolescent boys, the punk rock of comics - it tested the boundaries of taste and daring and simply went places where the mainstream comics dared not tread. I distinctly remember my dad one day picking up one of the early editions and exclaiming that the blood and guts in one of the story lines was far too much for a boy of my age - I sulked for a week until he finally relented. For the next few years the characters and stories were my constant weekly companions - my already existing interest in science fiction now became an obsession.

The comic has now passed into its 35th year of production and going on nearly 2000 editions, a testament to its enduring and endearing quality. A quality that has been brought to us from what reads like a who's who of literary and graphic British talent, many of whom have crossed over into Graphic novel, literary novels, television, cinema and the wider American comic market.   Peter Milligan (Tank Girl),  Grant Morrison (Batman: Arkham Asylum), Neil Gaiman (Sandman), Dave Gibbons, Mark Millar, Garth Ennis, Brian Talbot, Brian Bolland and Alan Moore have all become synonymous in many other areas. Indeed, many others that initially cut their teeth on 2000AD went on to succeed in America, with huge influences in the Marvel and DC universes. 

So here is a brief recollection of some of the characters and features from MY particular era of Britain's finest contribution to Science fiction.

Judge Dredd

The very first appearance of ole' Happy Joe 

Without doubt the single most iconic creation to come out of the comic, having crossed over into the wider social consciousness in everything from pop art to feature films . By the way, one of the movie adaptations is terrible, the other, much much better…….sit down Mr Stallone, you know which one I'm referring to as a waste of celluloid. 

Dredd didn't actually appear until the 2nd edition of 2000AD, though he has appeared in every single edition since then. His character was Inspired by the cop ' Dirty Harry' played by Clint Eastwood, a tough, unrelenting policeman who was more than prepared to kill the bad guy first than waste time going through the annoying bureaucracy of the justice system. Judge Dredd is entrusted with the ability not only to enforce the law, but also to instantly select the appropriate level of extreme justice on the spot – often this means execution. Initially set in 2099, he fights his crime in Mega-City One, a huge dystopian monstrosity of a city which stretches down the entirety of the U.S. eastern seaboard. 

I must admit here and now that this character was never my absolute favourite of the comic. I'm not sure why, possibly his character me me all too often fell into the realms of caricature. However, the huge sprawling epic storminess such as The Cursed earth and The Robot wars took the reader into story arcs of complex and thought provoking beauty.

Flesh

Flesh was an intriguing premise for a story, and one which I remember being hugely enjoyable for its quota of horror and gore levels of art. The plot essentially provided an entertaining explanation as to how the dinosaurs actually became extinct - there's no life destroying meteor here. Instead, in the future meat has run out. However, time-travel is now possible and so the prehistoric monsters find themselves being herded and farmed for their meat by cowboys from the future.

The first story-arc ran for the first 19 issues of the comic and also appeared in the 1977 annual, which I remember proudly receiving as a Christmas present that year. 

Of course, this being 2000AD, things didn't run smoothly for the time-travelling dinosaur meat farmers - with many of the cowboys being devoured in the most delicious of gory ways. 

Perhaps the most memorable of the characters from this story was one of the dinosaurs,  the half blind Tyrannosaurus Rex, Old One Eye. Basically, he's had enough of these pesky humans farming off his mates and starts fighting back, which essentially means eating them.  The humans main protector comes in the form of Earl Reagan, a Marshall who is charged to protect the humans and fight back the dinosaurs. Lovely Gory stuff.

Tharg's Future Shocks

“Out in the vast reaches of the universe, there are an infinite number of stories waiting to be told. From the lowliest denizens of backwater galaxies to rulers of entire star systems, anything is possible in these twisted tales. Abandon your preconceptions, expect the unexpected and take a trip beyond the edges of imagination…"

Tharg the Mighty, alien editor of 2000 AD 

The future shocks were couched firmly in the tradition of classic series such as The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits - weekly singular self contained short stories taking two or three pages of the comic, often accompanied by a nifty little twist in the tail ending. The series of stories didn't actually being until prog 25, starting with a story by Steve Moore and would prove to be an introduction for a plethora of new writers and artists such as artists and writers and creators such as Alan Davies and Grant Morrison.  

Similarly to Judge Dredd, the future shocks have taken a life of their own outside the confines of 2000AD, with a range of separate graphic novels and collections of the stories being published. Two collections of Alan Moore's Future Shocks (Alan Moore's Shocking Futures) and Time Twisters (Alan Moore's Twisted Times) have been recent and much welcomed additions to my own collection.

The Shocks are a fantastic assortment of darkly funny, sometimes unsettling and often demented twisted tales of sic-fi horror set in times and worlds where nothing is ever at it appears to be. Always one of the favourites parts for me of each prog.

Other notable inclusions of the early progs were ; 

Invasion, where Britain in 1999 are invaded by the nasty Volgans ( thinly veiled Russians) and a terrific tale of residence against the occupiers takes place

The Harlem Heroes - they play the futuristic sport of Aeroball which is now the most popular sport on the planet.

M.A.C.H 1 - John probe is a British secret agent who volunteered to undertake a ground breaking experiment which enhances his physical strength, speed and agility using the super duper secret procedure of 'compu-puncture'. Any similarity in looks and abilities to The six million Dollar man are purely, er, coincidental.

Dan Dare - vaunted at the time as 200AD''s flagship character, the old comic strip hero from The Eagle is once again fighting the good fight against The dastardly Mekon.

On a slightly depressing note to finish….. 

When the comics first came out I did what most boys did. I bought them, read them and then threw them away. Thoughts of keeping them for posterity, looking after them and maybe even selling them never entered my mind at 10 and 11 years of age. However, when I was 16 I found out that an acquaintance at school had the first 200 copies, most of which I was assured were in good shape. They were mine if I wanted them……. for free. Of course I bloody well wanted them. 

This time I treated them with the respect that I now believed they deserved - they were read again and again of course ( I'm not that disciplined), but they were also kept in individual plastic covers for protection and had pride of place on my bedroom shelf. I don't ever recall planning to keep the collection in order to eventually sell them as it simply never occurred to me that comics could ever become collectors items. They became a guilty pleasure. The bottom line was that even as I was at an age when I should be outgrowing comics ( hence the derision i heard from my friends and parents at the time). Every few months I took them down from my shelf and gently unwrapped them from their protective covering to read each one from cover to cover. I was still transfixed by the incredible mix of science fiction and horror. Stupidly I was a little ashamed of my nerd-dom…….not any more!

I managed to keep them until I was nearly 20. I may have read them a little less as the years had progressed as newer forms of science fiction & horror ( and the female gender) began to captivate me, but they were still there on my shelf and were indeed looked at on occasion. They were always, if nothing else, a welcome connection to my childhood obsessions. That was until one day when I decided to change their protective covers for new ones - all the comics has been placed (naked) on the floor beside my bed, ready for the 're-covering' the next day. That night, I went out on the town for a friend's birthday bash, got drunk, came home the worst for wear. I awoke the next morning to discover that I had thrown up during the night and destroyed virtually every copy……

When i checked back in 2010 about how much the first 3 editions alone were selling for to collectors, reasonable condition ones like mine were going for approximately £150 each. Well, Bugger.